Has to Be Love by Jolene Perry

Author:Jolene Perry
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780807565575
Publisher: Albert Whitman & Company

20

It’s nearly midnight when Dad finally goes to sleep, but the yard is still lit up in near daylight—another sign of summer. Anxiety zips through me. I just want to move forward. I’m ready. I’m settled. The ripped-insides feeling has finally subsided. I’ve come to a decision, and it feels like the reprieve I’ve needed.

Rhodes didn’t follow me to the barn when I went to feed the horses. Another sign that he knows our kiss was as much of a mistake as I do.

I jump on my bike and start pedaling up the road. After a few miles, I’m in front of the wooden beams and rock facade that make up the front of the home Elias and his dad designed together. It’s so very Alaskan in its massive ruggedness.

I sit in his driveway and lean my bike on its side.

This is it. Why does seeing him now feel so different?

Maybe I had hope before that my life would be something bigger than what it’s going to be. I’m just going to need some time to settle into my decision. That’s all.

I walk around the manicured yard and head for the back of the house.

When I knock on Elias’s window, I wait maybe two seconds that feel way longer than only two seconds, so I knock again. And then again.

Today I realized I’ve been too afraid to choose. I wasn’t choosing Elias or choosing school … Now I’m making the choice that will keep me close to Dad and Elias and close to home. To Mom.

Why is Elias taking so freaking long to get here?

I use my fist this time and his window finally jerks up. “Impatient?”

“Yes.” I scowl.

Elias’s features soften. “I’m so glad you’re home. That you’re here.”

This is it. Him. The him. “Me too.”

“I wasn’t sure if we were going to talk. I fell asleep with my phone in my hand.” He tilts his head. “Come to the front and I’ll let you in.”

“But your parents …”

“My parents own this house. They’re allowed to know when I have people over, even when it’s in the middle of the night. It’s fine.” His voice is kind, but the words … Can anyone be as precise a rule-follower as him? That trait should not set me on edge.

Elias backs away. “Meet you in the front.”

I walk around the house, and he lets me into the front hall. He’s wearing an old T-shirt and basketball shorts.

Right. It’s the middle of the night. This now seems like something I could have talked to him about tomorrow. The clock on the mantel starts chiming, and I realize it is now tomorrow, so maybe it’s less weird that I’m here? Or more weird since no matter what, it’s the middle of the night.

“Your dad said that I shouldn’t feel bad if you didn’t return my calls after your appointment … which you didn’t.” His brows go up slightly. “So, I’m hoping I did the right thing by giving you space.”

Space. Doctor. Dad. The whole experience keeps crashing over me and shattering my insides.

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